The Undead Revolution

Hatters at Home

It all began so innocently. The Hat members had all gotten online, and met at our headquarters in the Castle of Prontera. SaturnKitty had just discovered that, if he wanted to be cheap and run like a girl, he could kill Golems with his lightning bolts. With ZenZagg coming online, we decided to go down to the Golem desert as a group. I could help Kitty destroy his Golems, since they’re no threat to me, and he’d still get insane amounts of experience for his level. Zen could take a few 1 damage swipes at our rocky friends and hopefully leech some experience. This seemed like a good plan…until we arrived.

As mentioned in his member profile, Zen is extremely proud of his ability to kill Chon Chons. Well, we had just stepped through the portal, and what does Zen see? I think most of you can guess. None other than…a Steel Chon Chon. But poor Zen doesn’t read the steel part, or notice the strange color, he just attacked it. About four hits later, he was dead. I barely had time to ask what the hell he was doing. Right at this time, for whatever reason, party chat and whispering becomes so lagged that we can no longer use it, forcing us to speak out loud. So, now we have a dead ZenZagg. This would not normally be a problem. We discuss his return trip, when suddenly Kitty decides to get cute and try to kill the SAME Steel Chon Chon in the same cheap way he does Golems. He didn’t think about the fact that these things move much faster. So, he starts running around in circles trying to get away from it, and I’m chasing it trying to kill it. I get the death blow in on the Chon Chon right after it does the same to Kitty, who manages to fall right next to Zen, who has been watching the whole affair. So now the party that I had led down there so carefully [stupid shift+click…lazy bums] is dead. This is where our brilliant idea comes into play. Wouldn’t it be neat if we were ALL dead in the same area? We could have a nice little chat. So, I start attempting to get myself killed. After about 15 minutes and a lot of monsters later, I manage to die, right next to my fallen comrades. A scorpion finally escaped kill leeching long enough to do me in.

The Fallen Hatters
So, now all three of us are dead in the same place, holding a lovely conversation. Out loud, no less, since public chat is still broken. People start paying attention to us because of this, and asking how we died. At first we just answer….then we get the idea. How many people can we get to join us? How many dead bodies can we pile up at the entrance to the desert? We start trying to cajole new recruits. Not surprisingly, people are very suspicious at first. Just because we think being dead is cool, we must be morons. Well, we showed them later in the night…
Trying to win converts

Eventually, some people started to catch on to the idea. Being dead was hip. Being dead was cool. And, as I so bluntly stated, living people made the baby Jesus cry. Some people finally got brave enough to take the plunge. About half an hour into our Undead revolution, we had our first converts. Suddenly, the three people lying in the sand were five, and the number would only grow from there.

The Undead are five strong


Once we started growing in number, people really started to take notice. As you can see in the image above, we already had a few spectators trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Some just wondered what could have killed so many people at once in such a benign area. Others thought we were funny. Some stayed to chat. We told them that to be truly elite was to be dead, and that they should join us. Not many listened. Few had the true bravery to be dead. Those that did join us only lasted a few minutes, on average. Both of our chums above didn’t make it to the end of the night of the Undead. But that didn’t stop the crowd from growing.


The Crowd!


People just kept joining our throng. Some left flowers [which were promptly stolen, grave robbing sons of bitches. You know you who you are.], others just moved on. But, with the crowd came the scariest, and yet most funny, part of the undead phenomenon. Apparently, being dead is not only cool, it is dead sexy! Female players kept joining us. Some of them even were nice enough to sit on Kitty’s face, or rapidly sit up and down on the crotches of the corpses. This is a completely spontaneous reaction on their part. Corpses are just so sexy, they had no choice! Since we’re not running a porn site, I won’t put any images of the sex up here, but I can assure you it happened. We have witnesses. Eventually, the crowd started to leave us, but the true faithful did not. People kept killing themselves to join us, like the elite they are.


Six of us. That’s right, six.

Six corpses was the maximum we ever had on the ground at the same time. The crowds of people eventually moved on, leaving us alone with our cool corpse selves. Two of the above extras would make it to the end of the night. At this point, Zen had been dead for quite some time, and we all had class in the morning. College is like that. So, in a final farewell, the undead revolution ended. Our two last true believers each got something special. I won’t give out their character names here, but to the blue haired girl above I gave a Rocker doll, and to the grey haired guy to my southwest, he got 82 leathers, or animal skins as they are now called. Just what I happened to be carrying. I hope you enjoyed the tale of the night of the undead…we may be repeating it soon.