You just can’t keep a good corporation down.

Here at Rebirth Enterprises, we have been striving for over two years to bring you the best of the best. Our talents at exploiting the deeply hidden strength of humanity are unmatched. And so it is today that we bring you, our loyal customers and share holders, our newest product line.

Construction company barely surviving the recession? Hit hard by the rising cost of power tools? Well then, our new line of products is just what you’re looking for. Our line of EnhanciTools are the first power tools you “permanently rent”, rather than out-right buy. The end result is the same, it’s just legally different, to better protect you from those wrongful lawsuits that we know can cripple a company.

Next, all of our EnhanciTools are completely wireless, and can last an entire day without recharging . That’s right, you just leave them overnight, and come morning they’re as good as new. Can you even imagine that? We could. And we made it so.

Finally, our unique payment plan allows you to get just as much tool as you need. Regular power tools can cost hundreds of dollars of initial investment, perhaps even thousands. Our EnhanciTools are sold by the day, so if you ever cease to need one, or if one breaks, your payments stop. That’s right, no more worries about breaking tools the day after you get them. Just drive to the nearest street corner (our stores are conveniently located almost anywhere in the U.S.) and you’ll be set to continue work!

Read enough? Let’s get on to the EnhanciTools!

The Pedro is our power screwdriver. Requires some water. When combined with an EnhanciTools Jose model, Pedro is capable of acting as a power drill. Only fifteen dollars a day.

The Jose is our nail gun. Will last most of a day, so long as you remember to change arms with the Jose from time to time. Twenty dollars a day.

The Enrico is a portable band saw with the most wicked blade you’ve ever seen outside of cheap anime! Compare the Enrico to other portable saws, which can only last mere minutes! All for the low cost of twenty five dollars a day.

More models to come!