Anti-gravity sex explosion!

Hello. You’ve reached the automated phone service for Jux Entente State University. For Admissions, press 1. For registration, press 2. To speak with a live operator, please hold. You may press 7 at any time to go to the previous menu.

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To check application status, press 1. For help with financial aid, press 2.

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A surprising number of students qualify for financial aid! To begin the application process please select the option that best describes you from the menu. If you are intelligent, press 1. If you are brown, press 2. If you are intelligent and brown, press 3.

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Thank you for adding yourself to the National Do-Not Fly list. Without your support voluntary programs such as this one would never be able to protect our country the way they do today. On behalf of the Presi…

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To begin the application process please select the option that best describes you from the menu. If you are intelligent, press 1. If you are brown, press 2. If you are intelligent and brown, press 3.

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We’re sorry. Normally we would have your minority scholarship check in the mail tomorrow morning, but due to government regulations we are unable to admit students on the National Do-Not Fly list, as we have a large nuclear research facility on campus.

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To begin the application process please select the option that best describes you from the menu. If you…

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We’ve detected an attempt to hack our phone system. The FBI has been contacted. Please stay on the line…

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We’re sorry, but 7 cannot save you now. We’ve notified your family and friends of your pending vacation. Have a nice trip.