I am apparently unique in my obsession with not losing touch with people, and in not wanting to forget my past. Travis isn’t touching my challenge put forth in the “feature” (yep, our site backend is still broken) on the forum with any length of pole. That’s fine. I can accept that I’m weird, in that I’m a very sensitive asshole.
I have accepted the fact that I have way too much to do, now. I’ve replaced confusion and stress with abject terror. I might end up dropping the one class I have that I dislike greatly, and take the slower path (2 years to degree rather than 1.5) until I can get a GRA and survive better without having to devote so much time to work. I actually like my job at Verizon okay. It’s not all that intellectually challenging, but it’s easy, and varied. The past three weeks my boss has had me doing web design work, which actually gave me the opportunity to use some of my basic design ideas for Jux 3.0, albeit in a very basic, unattractive fashion.
Kenny thought this site would die without him. We haven’t really struggled with him leaving in that way at all. What’s happened to Jux, and what I’m fighting to prevent from completely consuming it, is the fact that Travis is a time vortex and I am completely insane.
Let me explain. On Travis’ part, he loses most of his free time to…free time. Instead of a schedule Travis as a unified pool of “time” that he pulls from whenever he feels it to be necessary. While efficient, and flexible, it does lead to deficinces in the upkeep of most ancillary things. It also makes him late a lot, but that’s not important.
On my part, I’m completely fucking nuts. I somehow think I can work 24 hours a week (down from a full 40) at Verizon, plus go to school for another 12 a week, not including all the hours I have to spend reading, writing, and researching, and have a meaningful relationship with Vivian, and keep myself mentally sane with a hobby or two and my friends. Not to mention driving up to see the puppy. Where the hell does time for Jux fall in that picture?
Honestly, it oftens falls into quick “mental breaks” at work. The same thing used to happen at the library. In a weird way, my job at Verizon has helped bring Jux back from the brink. While I can’t assure you that my old satirical writing will be back anytime soon, I can say that I plan to bring more of my academic writings to Jux, as well as more biographical stuff. Not only that, but Travis is reverse engineering the backend, so that we will finally have a working solution to site problems again.
At this point, Jux is over four years old . We aren’t going anywhere anytime soon.
At the very least, I’m too lazy to remove the automatic payments for the hosting from my credit card.