I just had to mix milk from an old half gallon with a fresh one to meet the amount required for a recipe. As I was doing this I had this vague sense of it being “wrong.”

How silly is that? Have you ever thought about how mixed up milk is anyway? They should do a DNA analysis on the contents of an average supermarket brand. Maybe I should go further and create a boutique brand that promises that your milk comes from only one cow. I would assign the cows unique numbers. That way, week to week, you could make sure that you only bought milk from Bessie #3436AF, your cow. And you could beat the shit out of the old lady who tried to get the last container of your cow’s milk.

I really think I could convince people to pay for this privilege.