Lotus Notes for the iPhone


Tell me IBM: WHY THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP PORTING LOTUS NOTES TO SHIT? It is the only piece of software on the entire planet that is universally reviled. There are no Lotus fanboys or defenders. Domino? Sure. Notes? No.

It has no redeeming features. It has nothing to offer the universe. If Lotus Notes was the only email client in existence people would rather do without. Rather than be forced to use Notes again, let me tell you what I’d do: I’d chase down a goose and rip a feather out of its ass. I would chop down a tree with a hatchet and then hit a goat with that tree repeatedly until it magically made parchment. I would squeeze snails for ink. I would combine these implements together to form characters and pages, and I would then wait 3-5 days for my message to arrive. I would rather do this, all of this, rather than type “Hey, what’s up?” to someone in your design abortion.

Please, give up. It can’t be saved. It’s not worth saving. It doesn’t have to be this way: I know you support open source software, IBM. Just start throwing money at Thunderbird. Make your own version called LotusFowl or something. Or just pretend nothing at all happened, like Eudora. But for the love of whatever unholy deity you obviously worship, stop tainting new things with your foul creation.

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