Just in case you can’t figure it out on your own.

Step One: Preparation
This is the most varied step of the Food process, because different foods require different preparations. While almost all modern dishes require some sort of heat application to be considered finished, some natural foods are not so picky, such as Apples, Oranges, Celery and Barley. In addition, some foods require heat to be taken away , usually liquids which must be transformed into their solid state to be considered “Food”. Since this step is so varied, we are going to assume that whatever preparation your food requires has been done. If you must have a specific dish in mind for this article, assume “Medium New York Strip Steak.”

Step Two: Division
Now, food usually comes in either one large piece or a series of small pieces. In this step, you must divide a portion of your food from the rest. If your food is a soup or pasta, you merely select the part you wish to eat at this moment and bring it to your mouth (step three). Some foods, such as Pizza, mix this step with step three, by using the incisor teeth to rend a piece of food free and deposit it directly into the mouth. Our steak example follows yet a third path, as a pointy object known as a “fork” is used to spear the meat, and then a sharp, serrated blade known as a “steak knife”, which is unique from other forms of knives, is used to cut through a section of the meat, separating it from the greater whole, yet leaving the small portion impaled upon the fork.

Step Three: Deposit
By far the easiest step in the entire food consumption process. Quite simply, all you need to do is open your mouth to form a portal large enough to allow your food portion to enter, and then promptly close your mouth so as to prevent it from escaping. Simple, no?

Step Four: Chewing
It’s time to reduce the size of our food yet again. Yes, we already did that in step two, but that was in an attempt to get a portion that would fit inside your mouth. Now we must convert that food into a state that is compatible with the smaller opening that is your throat. To do this, you must position your food under your teeth. Your tongue is the best tool for this job, provided you remember to remove it from the area once the food is in place. If you’re afraid of not being able to judge the distance right, you can also tilt your head to either side and allow gravity to do the work for you. Once the food has been properly positioned, you must now use your teeth to change its state, hopefully to something resembling a paste. Move your teeth in a combination of “grinding” and “crushing” motions to accomplish this.

Step Five: Swallow
Swallow your food (don’t worry, instinct will tell you how to do this one). If you’ve done all of the above correctly, the food will slide down your throat and into your stomach. Repeat these five steps as many times as necessary until you are either “full”, meaning you can contain no more food at present, or your food supply is gone. Next, we will examine how food becomes energy.

Step Six: Intake
To turn your consumed food into energy, your stomach must mix a number of ingredients into a volatile mixture. Your stomach acts as both a storage tank, and an internal combustion engine. As we know from chemistry, to have a combustion reaction, one must have oxygen. Your body obtains this from a number of complex processes such as “breathing” and “respiration”, all of which would take too long to explain here. Needless to say, oxygen reaches the special areas of the stomach from the holding tanks known as the “lungs”.

Step Seven: Compression
At this point, oxygen is mixed with a portion of the food you ate earlier into a volatile solution. This solution is then compressed by the stomach, until the pressure causes it to ignite. The force released as a result of this reaction forces the stomach walls outward, and this energy is harnessed by the body to provide all the energy your muscles need for a wide variety of actions, such as beating the heart, typing, and soccer!

Step Eight: Exhaust
Waste products are removed from the stomach in this step, and sent to the long tubes known as the “intestines.” These are connected to a number of organs that are meant to filter the waste to make it more environmentally friendly. The liver, kidneys, and other such examples of these are another matter for another day. For all intents and processes, the Food process has ended. And now you know how Food works!