Work with Jesus, Super Mario Sunshine, felonies and more…

We would like to extend a hearty welcome to Surly Guy and Jesus, who just moved into the Jux main offices, as you can tell by the latest Picasso update . But, they’re here to answer your questions once again. This time from multiple people. At least one of the questions is real. Seriously. Oh, and I’ve taken the liberty of changing up their page format just a smidge. I hope you don’t mind.

Dear Jux, What’s it like to work with Jesus? I imagine it would be pretty cool. -R. F.
	You know that guy at work who always rats you out for stealing pens and photocopiers? Imagine living with that bastard. That is the Jesus experience. Actually, combine that guy with the one who always gets promoted over you, and the one who can cross major bodies of water without a mode of transportation. There. That’s the Jesus experience. Son of a bitch never pays for a round of drinks either. – Surly Guy
	Oh, it’s wonderful. First of all, whenever I meet one of those people who asks “Have you found Jesus?”, I can just say “Sure, he’s down at Kroger getting us some frozen pizzas. We were out.” They always have the most horrified expressions, but it’s not like I’m lying or anything. There are a few more perks to be had. We never run out of bread or booze, although this seems to escape Surly Guy. Probably because we keep him locked out of the kitchen. We just didn’t feel safe after he pulled the waffle iron down onto his head. – Crossed Reality
	Just because you pay my salary doesn’t mean I can’t beat you to death with a Jim Beam bottle you Jewish fuckhead. – Surly Guy
Dear Jux, Is it just me, or do all the proposed designs for rebuilding Ground Zero suck ass? -New Yorker
	I really hate to say this, but I’m not too fond of them either. I think they’re going about it all wrong. Luckily, most New York citizens seem to agree, so perhaps they will come up with some alternate designs. I understand the motivations of replacing all the office space while trying to keep the actual footprint of the World Trade Center sacred, but I think they’re going about accomplishing it all backwards. Personally, I would love to seem them rebuild the WTC exactly. Except for a new memorial (plus a replacement for the one that was destroyed previously), the site should look like a duplicate of what it did before the attacks. Wouldn’t that be neat? – Jesus
	I hate to say it, but I’m with Jeebus on this one. Nothing says “fuck you turban-headed suicidal man-freaks!” like that plan. Plus, it just makes a whole hell of a lot of sense. You didn’t see a bunch of military guys jumping at the chance to repair the Pentagon’s damage by turning it into a dodecahedron, did you? Didn’t think so. – Surly Guy
Dear Jesus and S.G., Blue or purple? -Lauren Hudson
	Well, here at Jux, blue stands for Graeme and Picasso. Lighter shades also serve Mrs. Blanchard and Bobert. Purple, on the other hand, is used for Kenny and any Spelling the Vacuum characters or personnel we have show up. I’m going with blue. – Jesus
	Purple? What the fuck are you, gay? Oh, you’re a chick. Kinky. – Surly Guy
Dear Entente, I’m really, really excited about Super Mario Sunshine. It just came out in Japan. Can I go ahead and import it to the United States? Is that legal? Will it work on my GameCube? How expensive is that, anyway? What should I do? -Itsame
	I will attempt to answer your questions in a coherent order. First, an imported copy of Super Mario Sunshine will not play on your American GameCube as is. It will have to have a mod chip/switch installed to allow it to play games from other regions. You can also buy a Japanese GameCube, but this is obviously a more expensive solution to the problem. Now then, it is perfectly legal to import games into the U.S. The only reason that mod chips sometime come up as illegal is that some of them also allow you to play pirated games, which is obviously illegal. Ordering games from Japan is slightly more expensive than getting their native counterparts. The reasons for this are twofold. First, games usually cost slightly more in Japan. Second, international shipping costs must be factored in the equation. These are often added to the prices charged by importers. So, after considering everything above, if you simply must have the game a month before its stateside release, by all means import it. – Jesus
	Lord you little gamers bother me. Go outside! Get laid! Bring me my paper! Do something constructive with your damn lives, like me. – Surly Guy
Dear Jux, How do I lower a felony to a lesser charge? -Stupid Moron
	If you’re already convicted, you’re fucked. All you can do is try to get it expunged off. Otherwise, go for a plea bargain to try to lower your charge to a misdemeanor. Or, sexual favors. – Surly Guy
	……… – Jesus