Probably the first in a series. There are just so many!

1. No matter how good your best summon is, the enemy always has a better one. (See: Sin, Griever, the freakin Goddesses…)
2. Your characters are not obligated to give a damn about a fight occurring four feet away unless they are directly involved.
3. Phoenix down only works on the mostly dead, not the completely dead. Phoenix, on the other hand, works on everything. Unless you were stupid, and cracked it, or tossed the bitch’s body down a well before you got it. Stupid.
4. There will always be a crane. Whether you will use it to kill something or it will go crazy and attack you is a roll of the dice.
5. Upon being defeated, the final boss will disintegrate into his base pixels.
6. Most of the time, your characters will take it upon themselves to save the world. How they get to this decision is usually random and arbitrary. This is also known as the “Well, why the hell not?” Complex.
7. If you are the first participant in a procedure designed to give you powers above those of normal humans, expect to go insane. (See: Kefka, Sephiroth)
8. If you are the last participant in a procedure designed to give you powers above those of normal humans, expect to go on a crusade against the first. After all, they can’t all go crazy. (See: Celes)
9. Characters who use blue magic as their main attack are useless. Characters who use blue magic as a secondary attack are just fine, though. (See: Gau, Quina, Blue Mage)
10. Never let anyone die. You’ll be sorry.
11. Never let anyone live. You’ll be sorry.
12. A dog is a much more effective weapon than a sword.
13. Despite the fact that you are the only people on the planet that seem to give a damn about stopping the end of the world, not a single merchant is going to give you a discount.
14. Helicopters and jets are for the middle class. Real men always use airships. Always.
15. Dice make damned effective weapons.
16. With a little practice, anyone can get used to being struck by lightning, set on fire, and encapsulated in ice while in battle. These same people will freak out in burning buildings, weep during thunder storms, and get hypothermia on glaciers.
17. Joining your party makes enemies shrink and become cute.
18. Dancing is capable of summoning wind storms and causing rocks to fall from the sky.
19. Unless it is essential to the story line, holy and meteor are only mildly useful.
20. Unless required for a plot point, a full night’s rest is exactly fifteen seconds long.
21. Any shop in the world can sell you items capable of instantly curing wounds.
22. Monsters are perfectly willing to swarm and attack a heavily armed party of warriors and spellcasters. These same creatures would not think of attacking a large chicken.
23. Despite an abundance of firearms, they are only used by chumps. Real men/women use swords.
24. Only one town in the world is going to have a railroad. Sometimes a second town will be connected to it, but not often. The rest of the world’s population thinks that walking is just fine.
25. Only eccentric kings and gamblers are capable of building airships. No one else would think of touching the things.
26. Even if your airship has a 100% fuel efficient jet engine on board, you will not use it unless absolutely required to. You like propellers, damnit.
27. Despite being able to instantly kill any other person or creature on the planet, your enemies will always have trouble with you. Also know as: why doesn’t the shiny light turn Terra into magicite? How come my characters can get shot so much?
28. The closer to death you are, the more powerful you are. Fighting healthy is not advised.
29. One of anything, be it a diving helmet or any other useful item, is all that’s required for an entire party of people.
30. Kings are good, emperors are evil. High clergy is evil, acolytes and lesser members are just fine.
31. She’s royalty somewhere. Just deal with it.