Here at Rebirth Enterprises, we specialize in generating exact duplicates of creatures of creatures that the Earth discarded years ago! As we like to say, we may not be God, but we sure as hell play him. Beginning with the basic Mammoth, our catalog of animals has grown yearly to include some exciting possibilities! Check out our most popular beasts below!

The Mammoth
Our original, and still one of the best! This creature is great for Zoos and as a compliment to ice sculpture displays at weddings. Our all purpose Mammoths have also been used as pack animals in the arctic and as (admittedly expensive to maintain) pets there as well. They’re nice with children and nearly impervious to weather that is beyond the average dog or cat’s ability to survive. We also have special discounts to ivory dealers.

The Velociraptor
First used by the Israeli military in their invasion of China, these creatures are intimidating on their own and more than capable of destroying entire cities when assembled in hordes. We don’t suggest that they be bought individually, as they tend to eat owners without proper equipment. There’s a fifty percent discount for any order over 100,000, and a rebate upon proof of eradication of a third world country. When used properly, they don’t even require feeding!

The Dodo
Have you ever wanted to personally experience the pleasure of owning the only known animal to be driven to extinction by pigs? Then you’re in luck now! Your children can have hours of fun pretending to be Portuguese with this delightful creatures. And, thanks to a special deal with the United States government, these animals officially have no rights! That’s right! Have you ever come home from work and just wanted to stuff a cat in a microwave, but been unable to due to animal cruelty laws? That won’t happen with our Dodo. Think of all the money you’ll save on therapy!

Tasmanian Tiger
We don’t know why anyone cares, either, but they sure do look cool folks!

Passenger Pigeons
Is your neighbor showing off his shiny new sports car just a little too much? Do you just hate people for no reason, and want everything they have to be covered in droppings? Want to refilm the movie The Birds on a shoestring budget? Bored hunter? We’ve brought the passenger pigeon back, just for you!

Sadly, while extinction isn’t forever, lack of popularity can be. Until further notice, we have ceased production of these items:
Trilobites (all),
The earlier stages of Hominid evolution,
Sabretooth Tigers (all),
Sir Francis Bacon,
Giant Sloths.

That being said, we have quite a few surprises in store for later in the fiscal year! And don’t forget, we do take special requests, although they are more expensive.