Nintendo’s new console will surprise and delight you all!

It’s been a problem for years. Parents want to introduce their children to gaming, but are unsure when to do so. Young children can’t handle the full sized controllers, and can’t react fast enough to get truly good at any of the classic games we know and love. Well, fret no longer about your progeny not experiencing your favourite hobby early enough. Nintendo is proud to introduce the Nintendo WombBoy! Using revolution battery technology, a backlight, and water proof single-piece plastic casing, your babies can now be gaming well before they are even born! There’s no need to teach the fetus how to change cartridges, because all the games are stored on internal ROM. After the delivery, this ROM can even be flashed with new games! WombBoy currently comes loaded with these great games:

Super Mario Advance 2w: Essentially the same as Super Mario Advance 2, which was a port of Super Mario World. Quite possibly the best 2d platformer ever. Changes made include darkening the colours so that the backlight doesn’t wash them out and changing the speech of the Yoshi eggs. Instead of “Thank you!” they now say “Yoshi Get!”

Super Mario Kart Womb Circuit: Port of Super Mario Super Circuit. Includes six new tracks, which are also reversible. Capable of linking with GameBoy Advances, which can then access these tracks. Awesome!

Castlevania: Symphony of the Womb: This is neither Circle of the Moon nor Harmony of Dissonance, but rather an entirely new title! Hours of Belmont whipping action, with Dracula hiding out at the end, as always.

Womb Wars: The penultimate strategy title on the WombBoy. Dozens of units, dozens of commanding officers, hundreds of maps, thousands of hours of gameplay. Only on Nintendo!

All of this, for only $150! Now your baby is playing with power!