I swear the title has nothing to do with the feature, which is about peasants.

Welcome to the modern world. No no, don’t run away screaming! We’re here to help! You see, as the wealth gap grows between the poor and the rich across the planet, we’ve stepped in to do something. Most of those horrible people who can afford cars and soap couldn’t care less if you lived or died. We’re different. Here at the Better Living Corporation, we’ve decided to help all the unforunate families who just can’t drag themselves out of the house to put food on the table. All you have to do is sign a contract with us, and we’ll supply you with entertainment, food, shelter, and medical care… free! In return, we just expect some light work from you. Reviving the lost art of serfdom, a process destroyed by the communists and socialists in the early 20th century, we are more than able to provide these wonders for you! Under our basic plan, you would sign over yourself to work in our factories or fields, depending on your level of education. In return, you would receive a single room apartment and a basic expenditures budget. You are able to break your contract at any time, provided you can pay us in full for all services rendered to you. Our next plan would involve you and your entire family. In this case, you sign a contract binding to all members of your family over the age of 14. You would recieve a full suburban-style home, and an enriched expenditures budget. Individual members of the family can break their contract at any moment, provided they pay their own percentage of the household services rendered, to be calculated by Better Living staff. All family members aged 14 or younger at the time the contract is made binding may live in the home until they reach the age of 15, at which point they must sign a contract with us, or move. A third option has recently been added to these plans. We will give you everything included in the family package even if you’re single if you sign up for our deluxe genetics plan. In exchange for 10 years of total human service time [which may be split up between members of the family] and the rights to use your DNA in any way we see fit, all of your expenses will be covered for the duration of the life spans of any member of the family able to sign the contract. However, you wave the rights to any human, generic mammal, bird, or machine we create using your genetic material, until we return the rights to you, which we are under no legal obligation to do at any point in time. But, hey, you’re not using it anyway!

As you can see, this is well beyond anything you can expect from your current situation. Please, let the good people at the Better Living corporation help you today…think of your family. And is shucking corn really that bad compared to sleeping in a box? I didn’t think so!