He only wishes…hey, wait a second! I resent that joke!

Perhaps you have heard the rock band the Donnas. I have a love/hate relationship with them. I hate the fact that I like their music. They have a great sound, but, come on…an all girl rock band, where all the members just happen to be named Donna? That’s nice and all, but it’s the song titles that really get me. They’re so anti-Graeme it’s damn near funny. So I decided to take the entirety of their Spend the Night album and convert it into…GRAEME SPEAK! It’s a pretty simple game. What the Donnas say versus what I would say. Let’s look and see.

The Donnas: Spend The Night
Track 1: It’s On The Rocks
Track 2: Take It Off
Track 3: Who Invited You
Track 4: All Messed Up
Track 5: Dirty Denim
Track 6: You Wanna Get Me High
Track 7: I Don’t Care (So There)
Track 8: Pass It Around
Track 9: Too Bad About Your Girl
Track 10: Not the One
Track 11: Please Don’t Tease
Track 12: Take Me To The Backseat
Track 13: 5 O’clock In The Morning

Graeme: Stay Over
Track 1: Ow
Track 2: Why don’t you take that off, and then we’ll giggle and laugh for a few hours and watch Simpsons episodes and talk about how I’m always alone
Track 3: What the fuck are you doing here, anyway?
Track 4: Somewhat Damaged
Track 5: I like pants
Track 6: You think getting me inebriated makes me more fun. You are wrong.
Track 7: Like I care. Go away.
Track 8: Hand it over
Track 9: Too bad about your girl. I’m going to go become her best friend now and desperately try to win her over.
Track 10: God. Damnit.
Track 11: Say what you mean
Track 12: Wanna sit in the back seat? I never get to go there in my own car. I bet it’s nice. We can talk for a few hours. It’ll be fun.
Track 13: Welp, time for dinner.

Although, I must, at least for the majority of the male population who will eventually read this, admit one thing. There’s something strangely cool about an all-girl band with a song title like “Take Me To The Backseat.”