I now officially see no value in the Bush presidency.
A few years ago, I supported Bush. Part of it was because I hated Gore, but he also doing a decent enough job. Now, it’s reached the point where I have never despised the government so much in my entire life. Just thinking about the way things are going in this country makes me furious. I wanted Dean, I’ll gladly accept Edwards, and I’ll grudgingly vote for Kerry. Hell, I’ll take Edwards even though I completely disagree with him on NAFTA and other trade agreements. I want Bush gone. Dead, if possible. Perhaps you don’t understand why this is. To help this along, I’ve created a comparison below between Good Mr. Bush, a super-intelligent sweet potato, and myself. Let’s see what happens below!
| George W. Bush | Sweet E. Potato | Graeme K. Hefner | |
| Free Speech | Created the Patriot Act, the worst idea since the Alien and Sedition Acts. | Believes in free speech, but supposes obscenity laws are okay, because he doesn’t want to offend anyone. | Thinks the FCC’s broadcast restrictions are unconstitutional. Say anything you want to wherever and whenever. The government doesn’t need to be a babysitter. |
| Discrimination | Hates anyone who isn’t white, rich, and Christian. Is supporting a pro-discrimination amendment to the Constitution to ban Gay Marriage, going against the very idea of the Bill of Rights | Doesn’t discriminate against anyone bigger than him. That’s everyone. | Hates the stupid, but supposes they’re people too. |
| Education | Daddy bought him a diploma. No child left behind ensures that every child is at least as smart as he is. | Would prefer children to be smarter than Bush. | Ditto. |
| Religion | Christian. Everything else is wrong, and should be suppressed via hard-core Christian appointments to high level courts, and amendments that look like they were written in the 1930’s. | Potatianity. Loves everyone equally, although tends to lean towards Irish Catholics. | Deist, basically. |
| Closest Political Equivalent | Warren G. Harding and U.S. Grant, the only presidents less competent than him. He must also look up to a lot of Soviet Premiers, if you read the Patriot Act closely enough. | Channels William Clinton by not really standing for anything, yet miraculously accomplishing a lot, and making people like him for it. Yet, when he’s gone, everyone wonders if he really did anything. | Adam Smith, John Locke, and Benjamin Franklin are his political heroes. |
There you go. I could go on forever, but I probably lost my entire audience 15 minutes ago when they realized I was talking about politics.
The Jux Entente 