I hate taking the required health class.
My professor in HPS asked us to write up some questions we had about nutrition and weight today, and turn them in. Not for a grade, but for class discussion. Seeing as how I feel like I’m taking a middle school course, and this was going to be anonymous, I gave some middle school questions. Below is a word for word, letter for letter transcript of what I turned in, intentionally weird grammar and all:
- How many calories to be a woodchuck? A fat woodchuck, that is.
- If I eat a car, is that lean weight?
- To get protein from plants, don’t I have to eat fatty plants?
- How the hell do plants get fat? Other than flytraps.
- Speaking of which, are there obese insects?
- I wish aurochs weren’t extinct. Those things were awesome. Did they die from not eating right, or did we beat them to death?
- How, exactly, can I use the energy in a chocolate sunday to immolate a room? The caloric , nutritive energy. It’s a valid question!
- If I move to the moon, and my weight goes down, am I less fat?
- Nutrionally speaking, compare apples to oranges.
- Which flavor of Flintstones vitamin is the best for me?
- Is my clothing lean or fat weight?
- What about my excrement?
- Do I have to eat vegetables? Why can’t I just make the cow eat them before I kill it?
- Toxins;
Kidney job and hazard,
Welcome, booze hound.
- Are people on the Atkins diet going to Hell, or just Florida? Or both?
- You can’t silence the call of human flesh, can you? Is it nutritious?
- Can I crossbreed wheat, strawberries, and pigs to create the ultimate in food sources?
- Can I also make a rice version?
- Since insulin tells my body to make fat, wouldn’t I be better off without it?
- Can I make things out of my fat?
- How come you never hear about scurvy anymore?
The Jux Entente 